18 Years

Marking time again and a poem, too

Hello, Friend.

Thank you for being here to help me mark time again. I keep marking time publicly, not to garner sympathy, but as a way to raise real awareness, not the superficial kind, about a life-changing and still too often deadly disease.

I invite you to share in the comments who you mark time for. Let’s talk about poetry a bit, too.

But first, that important reminder…

Clicking the ❤️ button shows others you were here. Commenting shows you value this conversation, restacking indicates you want to encourage others to read my essay, too, and recommending my Substack says all three.

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18 Years

Marking time again and a poem, too

This month marks 18 years since my mother died from metastatic breast cancer. It’s been 18 years since I saw her face and heard her voice.

My mother was not a "loser" of a battle. Cancer is not a military campaign. She didn't die because she didn't stay positive or try hard enough. She didn't fail treatments. Treatments failed her.

Despite headlines suggesting outcomes are better, the bottom line is this: the number of deaths from MBC has remained constant at 40,000+ each year in the U.S. alone.

Roughly 42,000+ more deaths are expected in 2026.

20-30% of early-stage breast cancers will metastasize, sometimes decades later.

Around 6% of breast cancer cases are stage 4 at diagnosis, also known as de nova. For those diagnosed with stage 4, there will be no cure, and treatment (often with horrendous side effects) will be ongoing.

Doesn’t sound much like the “good cancer”, does it?

My advocacy in Cancer Land always circles back to my mother. It is, and always has been, more about her than me—more about advocating for those dealing with MBC.

Along with early detection, MBC is where the focus of breast cancer advocacy should be. It’s not about pink, pink ribbons, or t-shirts with sassy sayings.

Answers will only come through research. (The Trump administration’s massive cuts to cancer research have, and will continue to have, harmful consequences for decade to come. This needs to be said.)

We can and must do better.

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Thank you to Beth L. Gainer for encouraging me to write poetry. I’m not good at it. (Which is okay. One needn’t be good at something to do it.) In fact, writing poetry scares me a little, but I’ll keep trying. Also, thank you to Stephanie Raffelock and Deborah Gregory who, along with Beth, are genuine poets. These Lovelies inspire me not only because of their commitment to writing poetry, but also because they are compassionate and generous souls who lift up others with their creative words and art.

I’m grateful to be part of a Substack community filled with so many wonderful writers, poets, and artists. And, of course, I’m grateful to each and every reader who stops by this space as well.

Thank you for receiving my marking-time poem with an open heart. Let me know how it lands for you, should you decide to in the comments.

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18 years

18 years

Since I saw your face

18 years

Since I heard your voice

18 years

Am I starting to forget?

18 years

Since your suffering ended

18 years

A lifetime ago

18 years

Feels like yesterday

18 years

Of missing you

18 years

I’ve forgotten nothing

18 years

Forever in my heart

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Who do YOU mark time for?

Does writing poetry scare you, too, and if so, why do you think this is?

Do you have a poem you’ve written that you’d like to share? (or a link to one)

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If you feel my essay has value, thank you for restacking and considering becoming a paid subscriber when you feel ready. Free or paid, I appreciate you.

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NOTE: A portion of profits from all my books and this Substack is donated annually to METAvivor.org—an organization dedicated to research specific to metastatic breast cancer.

Learn about my books HERE.

Thank you for supporting this advocacy.

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Thank you for helping me mark time. I appreciate you.

As always, I see you. I hear you, and I care about what YOU have to say.

Until next time…

Take care of yourself, be kind to someone, be a light, and keep going.

With gratitude,

Nancy

xoxo