Thank you for the generous sharing of my thoughts, Nancy. I love the exercise about our ancestors standing behind us. I love closing my eyes and imagining Julia. I feel gratitude for the women who came before us, even the ones whose names and faces are unknown to me. They embody a kind of strength and grace that we are all needing during these historic times. Betty has grit and gumption. So did Julia. May we understand those qualities too and use them as a means for moving forward and beyond our current state of conflict.
My grandma Julia, was my Aunt Betty, a woman who had a measured way about her, but also a wildness. She was the woman, like your Aunt Betty who made the biggest difference in my life.
As for soda or pop, grandma Julia used to tell me that drinking Coke would rot my stomach. I took it to heart and still don't drink soda, or "soda pop" as she used to call it. ~stephanie
I love the exercise, too. Thank you for coming up with it. I feel that same sense of gratitude for the women who came before us, and this also includes women not in my personal family tree. We all stand on the shoulders of women who came before us.
Your grandma Julia had such an impact on your life. I'm glad you had her as a role model. Betty didn't have the biggest influence on my life. Before her would come my mother and maternal grandmother, but Betty had a huge impact, too. Grit and gumption - she definitely has those qualities. I'm lucky to have had a fair number of wonderful female role models.
I haven't drank orange pop since those early days. No interest. I rarely drink pop at all these days except for an occasional Sprite Zero.
Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. And for the inspiration that came from your two articles. I appreciate you.
I'm glad you have an Aunt Clara. Is she still living? My maternal grandmother's name was Clara, so that name has great significance for me. And yes, you understand the "pop" thing then, my fellow Midwesterner.
Sadly, Aunt Clara died back in the 90s. She was really quite a character. Professed to be quite religious, and then swear like a truck driver if someone pulled in front of her in the car. My sisters would just look at one another and shrug. There wasn't any swearing in our household.
Oh, that is sad; I'm sorry. It does indeed sound like your Aunt Clara was quite a character! I love the story you shared about her. So funny and endearing, too. Thank you.
Nancy, I’ve been wanting to comment on your post and Beth’s post reminded me that I have been remiss… I’m so glad you have Aunt Betty. Your post triggered me a bit but not in a bad way, it did make me think about my past and trying to identify who might have been my Aunt Betty. So far I haven’t been able to remember anyone. I’m still trying and you’ve inspired me to write a post, which is still forming in my head.
When I try that exercise from Stephanie’s post, I can’t seem to do it with my maternal side. The open arms thing is what I’m struggling with. There is a gap there for me for a few generations. But I can do it with my dad’s side- and I knew and admire my great grandmother, who came over from what is now Ukraine when she was a teenager.
Aunt Betty is the person I wished I had as a kid, and wish I still had. Anyway, enough about that- it was soda for me as a kid but we moved out west when I started high school and since then it’s been pop.
Oh absolutely. I have had several for different seasons of my life but since we are talking about family I will remember my cousin Catherine. She was also known as Cat or Ama Cat. She was a force of nature and the sane part of a really crazy family system. Even better she had history and memory of that system that helped it make sense generationally. She loved me fiercely and that is an amazing blessing in itself and an experience I hope for everyone. She taught me how to live well and then taught me how to live well with terminal cancer, decades before I would need to learn how. She is one of the lights in my life. Someone whose strength and wisdom I still draw on even though we now live on different planes. This is one of the ways I celebrate her life. By sharing her story and saying her name. In that way she lives forever.
It sounds like your Ama Cat had a significant influence on you. What a blessing to have had someone who loved you fiercely indeed. It sounds like she was a remarkable woman and a genuine light in your life.
I love that you shared about her here. Saying her name and talking about her ensures that she does live forever indeed. It's so important to keep telling stories about the strong women who weave in and out of our lives. They all live on through us.
Well cancer brain rears again. I just posted a fairly lengthy response to Aunt Betty but didnt copy it and I cant find it again. I have no idea where I posted it. I find the decline of my brain one of the absolutely worst parts of metastatic cancer.
Anyway, about my aunt Betty. I have been blessed to have several throughout different seasons of my life and they were all lovely in their own way. Because I am older now myself most now speak to me from another place or time or way of being. Amazingly, the three that are now coming to mind passed from cancer. Two from metastatic breast cancer and one from pancreatic. That is now more significant than it used to be. The one I wrote about earlier was my cousin Catherine. She was a force of nature and I like to say that she loved me fiercely because that was what I needed and how it felt. She taught me many things in the short few years that we lived in physical proximity but ultimately she taught me about living a deeply meaningful life and then an equally meaningful death. Years before I knew I would need to know about how to live with terminal cancer with meaning and dignity. I like to think that maybe she knows now.
Oh, I hate it when I lose comments! And yes, brain fog, chemo brain - those are no fun to deal with.
I'm glad to learn you have had several Aunt Bettys scattered throughout the seasons of your life. I'm sorry to hear they all died from cancer. It sounds like you learned some valuable lessons from them - especially from your cousin Catherine. Living a deeply meaningful life and then, an equally meaningful death - those are pretty significant lessons. I'm sure she does somehow know that she taught you about living with terminal cancer with meaning and dignity.
Thank you for sharing about Catherine. I appreciate you.
Nancy, this was such a heartwarming post. Your love for your Aunt Betty shines through every word. It's clear she's a very special person, and it's lovely to read about such a positive and influential relationship.
Yes, Betty is very special indeed. Sometimes, it's important to reflect on the influence other women have had on us - whether they be in our family tree or not. It felt good to write this one, and doing so brought back so many wonderful memories. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment, too. I appreciate you.
Oh man, do I love this essay, Nancy! Your Aunt Betty is wonderful. She simply sounds great! As you know, I have an Aunt Helene (even though she has passed away, I use present tense because she's embedded herself in my heart forever), and she was my moral compass when I was faced with so many hurdles growing up. She was the light of my world. She was my biggest fan, greatest cheerleader, and loved me unconditionally. She was the source of love. I miss her everyday, but I thank my lucky stars that she was such a strong force in my life.
She helped me through breast cancer. And she was a breast cancer survivor herself.
You and Stephanie have influenced me so much, I will write about my Aunt Helene in a future post!
As you know, I'm from NY -- the Bronx -- to be exact, and we grew up with "soda." We also didn't use seatbelts, and did a lot of things we shouldn't have done like cooling ourselves down with fire hydrants and causing some mayhem. My daughter jokes about how careless I/society was in the 1970s growing up. LOL
I'm glad you enjoyed this essay. Betty was/is very special indeed. When I wrote this, I thought about you and your Aunt Helene. I remembered a previous article you had written about her after she died and how devastated you were. I didn't remember that she had had breast cancer. She died from something else though, right? I look forward to reading your next piece about her.
How lovely to hear you say Stepanie and I have influenced you. She is a marvelous writer and person, so I take that as a great compliment. Thank you.
I figured you were a "soda" person. And isn't it strange to think there was a time not that long ago when there were no seatbelts? But cooling down with fire hydrants sounds reaonable when it's hot! I guess that was wasting water, though, that might've been necessary for fighting fires. It's cute your daughter things life was reckless in the 70s. If they only knew some of the stuff we did...lol
Thank you for reading and sharing about your Aunt Helene. I appreciate you.
Thankfully, my aunt didn't die of breast cancer; she was a smoker, and she eventually died of a lung-related illness.
Yes, wasting water that could've been used for fighting fires was not the smartest thing I ever did. To this day, I still regret it, but I was a kid who wasn't thinking!
Yes, Stephanie and you are both wonderful writers. I enjoy reading the posts from you both.
Thank you for the generous sharing of my thoughts, Nancy. I love the exercise about our ancestors standing behind us. I love closing my eyes and imagining Julia. I feel gratitude for the women who came before us, even the ones whose names and faces are unknown to me. They embody a kind of strength and grace that we are all needing during these historic times. Betty has grit and gumption. So did Julia. May we understand those qualities too and use them as a means for moving forward and beyond our current state of conflict.
My grandma Julia, was my Aunt Betty, a woman who had a measured way about her, but also a wildness. She was the woman, like your Aunt Betty who made the biggest difference in my life.
As for soda or pop, grandma Julia used to tell me that drinking Coke would rot my stomach. I took it to heart and still don't drink soda, or "soda pop" as she used to call it. ~stephanie
Hi Stephanie,
I love the exercise, too. Thank you for coming up with it. I feel that same sense of gratitude for the women who came before us, and this also includes women not in my personal family tree. We all stand on the shoulders of women who came before us.
Your grandma Julia had such an impact on your life. I'm glad you had her as a role model. Betty didn't have the biggest influence on my life. Before her would come my mother and maternal grandmother, but Betty had a huge impact, too. Grit and gumption - she definitely has those qualities. I'm lucky to have had a fair number of wonderful female role models.
I haven't drank orange pop since those early days. No interest. I rarely drink pop at all these days except for an occasional Sprite Zero.
Thank you for reading and taking time to comment. And for the inspiration that came from your two articles. I appreciate you.
THIS: "We all stand on the shoulders of women who came before us." This is what i never want to forget. Big hugs.
Yes, we can't forget the suffering, hard work, and suffering of those who came before us. Big hugs back.
I don't have a Betty, but I do have an Aunt Clara, that I can compare to your Aunt Betty. Being a midwestener all my life, it's definitely pop.
Hi Nancy,
I'm glad you have an Aunt Clara. Is she still living? My maternal grandmother's name was Clara, so that name has great significance for me. And yes, you understand the "pop" thing then, my fellow Midwesterner.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate you.
Sadly, Aunt Clara died back in the 90s. She was really quite a character. Professed to be quite religious, and then swear like a truck driver if someone pulled in front of her in the car. My sisters would just look at one another and shrug. There wasn't any swearing in our household.
Oh, that is sad; I'm sorry. It does indeed sound like your Aunt Clara was quite a character! I love the story you shared about her. So funny and endearing, too. Thank you.
My late mother was Betty.
Hi Jorge,
The name Betty is significant for you, then. I love that you shared why it is. Thank you. I appreciate you.
🫶🫶🫶
My mom died of a colon cancer that was only detected just a few days before her passing.
I am so sorry. That had to be so hard.
Thanks. It was very hard and difficult, made it worse due to the then Covid restrictions. But I live with it.
Nancy, I’ve been wanting to comment on your post and Beth’s post reminded me that I have been remiss… I’m so glad you have Aunt Betty. Your post triggered me a bit but not in a bad way, it did make me think about my past and trying to identify who might have been my Aunt Betty. So far I haven’t been able to remember anyone. I’m still trying and you’ve inspired me to write a post, which is still forming in my head.
When I try that exercise from Stephanie’s post, I can’t seem to do it with my maternal side. The open arms thing is what I’m struggling with. There is a gap there for me for a few generations. But I can do it with my dad’s side- and I knew and admire my great grandmother, who came over from what is now Ukraine when she was a teenager.
Aunt Betty is the person I wished I had as a kid, and wish I still had. Anyway, enough about that- it was soda for me as a kid but we moved out west when I started high school and since then it’s been pop.
Hi Nancy,
I finally found my original post. So sorry.
Oh absolutely. I have had several for different seasons of my life but since we are talking about family I will remember my cousin Catherine. She was also known as Cat or Ama Cat. She was a force of nature and the sane part of a really crazy family system. Even better she had history and memory of that system that helped it make sense generationally. She loved me fiercely and that is an amazing blessing in itself and an experience I hope for everyone. She taught me how to live well and then taught me how to live well with terminal cancer, decades before I would need to learn how. She is one of the lights in my life. Someone whose strength and wisdom I still draw on even though we now live on different planes. This is one of the ways I celebrate her life. By sharing her story and saying her name. In that way she lives forever.
Hi Joyce,
I'm glad you found it!
It sounds like your Ama Cat had a significant influence on you. What a blessing to have had someone who loved you fiercely indeed. It sounds like she was a remarkable woman and a genuine light in your life.
I love that you shared about her here. Saying her name and talking about her ensures that she does live forever indeed. It's so important to keep telling stories about the strong women who weave in and out of our lives. They all live on through us.
Thanks again for sharing. I appreciate you.
Hi Nancy,
Well cancer brain rears again. I just posted a fairly lengthy response to Aunt Betty but didnt copy it and I cant find it again. I have no idea where I posted it. I find the decline of my brain one of the absolutely worst parts of metastatic cancer.
Anyway, about my aunt Betty. I have been blessed to have several throughout different seasons of my life and they were all lovely in their own way. Because I am older now myself most now speak to me from another place or time or way of being. Amazingly, the three that are now coming to mind passed from cancer. Two from metastatic breast cancer and one from pancreatic. That is now more significant than it used to be. The one I wrote about earlier was my cousin Catherine. She was a force of nature and I like to say that she loved me fiercely because that was what I needed and how it felt. She taught me many things in the short few years that we lived in physical proximity but ultimately she taught me about living a deeply meaningful life and then an equally meaningful death. Years before I knew I would need to know about how to live with terminal cancer with meaning and dignity. I like to think that maybe she knows now.
Hi Joyce,
Oh, I hate it when I lose comments! And yes, brain fog, chemo brain - those are no fun to deal with.
I'm glad to learn you have had several Aunt Bettys scattered throughout the seasons of your life. I'm sorry to hear they all died from cancer. It sounds like you learned some valuable lessons from them - especially from your cousin Catherine. Living a deeply meaningful life and then, an equally meaningful death - those are pretty significant lessons. I'm sure she does somehow know that she taught you about living with terminal cancer with meaning and dignity.
Thank you for sharing about Catherine. I appreciate you.
Nancy, this was such a heartwarming post. Your love for your Aunt Betty shines through every word. It's clear she's a very special person, and it's lovely to read about such a positive and influential relationship.
Hi Marie,
Yes, Betty is very special indeed. Sometimes, it's important to reflect on the influence other women have had on us - whether they be in our family tree or not. It felt good to write this one, and doing so brought back so many wonderful memories. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment, too. I appreciate you.
Oh man, do I love this essay, Nancy! Your Aunt Betty is wonderful. She simply sounds great! As you know, I have an Aunt Helene (even though she has passed away, I use present tense because she's embedded herself in my heart forever), and she was my moral compass when I was faced with so many hurdles growing up. She was the light of my world. She was my biggest fan, greatest cheerleader, and loved me unconditionally. She was the source of love. I miss her everyday, but I thank my lucky stars that she was such a strong force in my life.
She helped me through breast cancer. And she was a breast cancer survivor herself.
You and Stephanie have influenced me so much, I will write about my Aunt Helene in a future post!
As you know, I'm from NY -- the Bronx -- to be exact, and we grew up with "soda." We also didn't use seatbelts, and did a lot of things we shouldn't have done like cooling ourselves down with fire hydrants and causing some mayhem. My daughter jokes about how careless I/society was in the 1970s growing up. LOL
Hi Beth,
I'm glad you enjoyed this essay. Betty was/is very special indeed. When I wrote this, I thought about you and your Aunt Helene. I remembered a previous article you had written about her after she died and how devastated you were. I didn't remember that she had had breast cancer. She died from something else though, right? I look forward to reading your next piece about her.
How lovely to hear you say Stepanie and I have influenced you. She is a marvelous writer and person, so I take that as a great compliment. Thank you.
I figured you were a "soda" person. And isn't it strange to think there was a time not that long ago when there were no seatbelts? But cooling down with fire hydrants sounds reaonable when it's hot! I guess that was wasting water, though, that might've been necessary for fighting fires. It's cute your daughter things life was reckless in the 70s. If they only knew some of the stuff we did...lol
Thank you for reading and sharing about your Aunt Helene. I appreciate you.
Thankfully, my aunt didn't die of breast cancer; she was a smoker, and she eventually died of a lung-related illness.
Yes, wasting water that could've been used for fighting fires was not the smartest thing I ever did. To this day, I still regret it, but I was a kid who wasn't thinking!
Yes, Stephanie and you are both wonderful writers. I enjoy reading the posts from you both.