Do You Have a Bucket List?

I don't and here's why...

Hello, Friend.

If you’re new here, welcome. I’m so glad you’re part of this community. This week, I reached a milestone on Substack—1000 subscribers. I try not to think about numbers—here or on social media—but every writer wants readers for her words. So, thank you for being here. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know.

There’s so much going on these days, I feel like I should be tackling weighty issues in my writing. The news is unsettling and disturbing. I’m grateful there are strong voices speaking about truth, democracy, and the thread by which it hangs.

I will be stepping into the political fray, writing-wise, because we’re all going to have to step up our game. For now, I breathe, listen and observe, contemplate my role, and above all, try to remain hopeful that America can figure this mess out.

Today’s read is an edited excerpt from my third book, EMERGING: Stories from the Other Side of a Cancer Diagnosis, Loss, and a Pandemic. Be sure to share in the comments if YOU have a bucket list or not.

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Do You Have a Bucket List?

Many people make bucket lists upon emerging from life-altering experiences like a cancer diagnosis, loss, a pandemic, or something else. Some folks make them merely because they want to, not necessarily for any particular reason.

Kudos to those folks, but as for me, I’ve never had an inclination to make a bucket list. Heck, I haven’t even seen the Hollywood movie, The Bucket List.

I rarely make lists at all; however, I do make mental lists or notes in my head all the time. I admit, it’s laughable to think I actually remember everything I need to remember. Maybe I have an accountability issue or something.

I might not have a bucket list, but I have goals and things I want to do with the rest of my life. Yes, of course, I do.

But a bucket list?

Count me out.

My husband makes lists for everything. And yes, he is way more organized and probably gets way more done on any given day than I do. Maybe there is a correlation in there somewhere.

Still, why in the world would I make a bucket list?

Why does anyone?

After all, a bucket list is a disguised—albeit not well-disguised—list of things you want to do before you die.

That’s rather morbid sounding, is it not?

Think about the phrase, “so-and-so kicked the bucket.” Maybe that’s where this idea of a bucket list originated. It’s since morphed into some weird sort of marketing ploy. I’m pretty sure there are tons of best-selling books out there loaded with ideas for things to put on your bucket list. Like we need someone else to suggest what we should be doing with our lives and time. No thank you.

It’s almost like another kind of competition—who’s got the better, longer bucket list?

It reminds of the pressure Cancer Havers often feel, self-imposed or otherwise, to do big things, or at least something big post-diagnosis. Like we were just coasting along before twiddling our thumbs doing the bare minimum.

Post-diagnosis, we’ve supposedly seen the light. Learned how to prioritize. Had epiphanies. In other words, emerged as new and improved versions of our former selves. What total malarkey, not to mention pressure no one needs.

Here’s the thing, what happens if you get all the items crossed off your bucket list before you die? Then what? Do you just keep adding to it? That seems pretty exhausting.

And what about the opposite? What if you manage to get only a handful of things—or worse, nothing—crossed off your bucket list because your health takes a downward spiral, or you run out of money, or whatever?

If you want to make a bucket list, or you already have, that’s wonderful. Truly. I admire those who are motivated by making lists and crossing things off, so if that’s you, I admire you. Sometimes, I wish I were more like those folks. But, I’m not.

I’m content to emerge from cancer, loss, a pandemic, and whatever else lies ahead without a bucket list in hand.

Continuing through life without added pressure to get X, Y, and Z done will be enough for me.

What about for YOU?

Do YOU have a bucket list?

Why or why not?

If you do, what’s something you have on it?

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If you like this article, thank you for sharing it!

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I wrote about cancer language, cancer worry, survivor guilt, loss, pet grief, COVID-19, DIEP flap surgery, life as an introvert, aging, resiliency, and more in EMERGING. Available at Amazon and most other online booksellers. Click on the image below to order your copy today!

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Thank you for reading!

As always, I see you. I hear you, and I care about what you have to say.

Have a good rest of your week. To my USA readers, have a fun and safe 4th of July. Let’s also do some reflecting about how far this great nation has come, where we want to go from here, and what our individual roles will be to help us get there.

Until next time…

With gratitude and hope,

Nancy