Hi Nancy, thanks for including me in your list. I'm honored to be among them! But let me tell you about my reasons for mentioning my age when I really don't have to. I'm 87 years old. That's OLD! It's not that I'm proud of it. My only contribution, as I often say, is not dying. That's what keeps me here.
But I think it's important to remind younger folks that we older folks aren't necessarily feeble-minded or brain-dead, just because we're old. I write a lot about a lot of different things, and some of my readers aren't aware of my age. I want them to be aware. I want them to get comfortable with the idea that old people are still active, still with it, still able to contribute to a society that would like to pretend we're nothing more than a drain on their magnanimity and their coffers.
That's crazy talk, and I'm here as living proof.
I admire anyone who is old (a lovely word) and is still out there bouncing around, making an impact. I wish all of them would keep on announcing their age--wearing it as a badge to show how ridiculous it is to try and put us out to pasture when we still have so much to offer.
So keep on keeping on, Nancy. You've got this! So have I! So have we all!!
All your points are excellent. No surprise there. I've been slow to state my age publicly but no more. It is important to not put anyone in any age group into a box. We are all individuals with unique strengths and weaknesses, too, of course. We can learn so much for one another if we keep our minds open. That, is the hard part. For some anyway.
Thank you for your eloquent comment, encouraging words, and for your great writing here on Substack. I appreciate you.
I am 73 years young and I keep a saying on my fridge that I can look at all the time. It says that growing old is a privilege denied to many. To me aging is a state of mind. I feel physically older because of the aromatase inhibitor that I'm on. But this too shall pass eventually as things continue to go well.
Good for you for keeping that reminder on your fridge. Do you ever feel, as I do, that the phrase implies we shouldn't complain? Maybe it's just me reading that into it. Regardless, you know how I love a good rant be it about cancer, aging, aromatase inhibitors (or as I call them, the drugs we love to hate), or something else, so it's not like I plan to be quiet about getting old either - regarding the good and the not so good parts.
Age is a state of mind - to a point. I hope you're doing alright with your side effects from AI meds. I was very happy when I completed my 10 years. Actually, I stopped after 9.
Thank you for reading and commenting, too. I appreciate you.
You are so welcome, and I agree about the wonderful company. We have earned our age, in more ways than one. Reveling in it still feels like a stretch for me. But I'm getting there!
Thank you for being such a great role model here on Substack and for supporting fellow writers. I have a special place in my heart for those who offer that kindness. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment, too. I appreciate you.
Oh, and I bought the mug for both my sisters when they turned 70 and had to get one for myself. Makes me chuckle.
I loved the suspense of waiting until near the end to hear how old you actually are!! (And I enjoyed what I read too)
You’re a baby. I’m 78, as of two weeks ago.
They missed my birthday at PT because I was sick (my daughter’s fault) so when I got to PT today they took my picture underneath a “Happy Late Birthday” sign. I’d post it here because I look cool, but I don’t know how to post pics in comments.
The only things that bother me about my age are (1) worrying about how much longer I’ve got to live (I’ve got no diagnosed fatalities, it’s just that 78 seems so…..old!! (2) Not having the easy mobility I had when I was younger—I never was athletic but I used to be…springy!! I can’t get used to bring creaky and stiff and having to constantly work against it getting worse. (3) Being the same age as Donald Trump.
I always tell my age. But I admit to missing being flirted with, and to being proud of my still-red hair. I hope it indicates more about the overall state of me than the number 78.
And thank you for including me in that great list. I’m honored.
Being called a baby made me laugh. Happy birthday to you, too, then! I'm sorry to hear you were sick.
I don't worry about how much longer I have to live. Not yet anyway. Even after the whole cancer shitstorm, I just don't. Like you, I do miss the easier mobility, although I'm lucky to still be pretty mobile and somewhat limber. I've never been athletic in any way whatsoever, but I do walk most days, which really seems to help me. The creakiness and stiffness is annoying, isn't it? Maybe not as much as being the same age as Trump! Just kidding.
Thank you for reading my article and saying you enjoyed it. I'll keep reading your articles and notes when I can. Thanks for subscribing, too. I appreciate you.
The creakiness and stiffness is uber annoying. I was a big runner/swimmmer in my 20's through 40's but had to give up running due to arthritis and gave up swimming b/c too cold! Wised up! I do walk almost every day and I enjoy that.
Walking is the only way to go for this non-athlete. This time of year, I use my treadmill when the temps drop too low. Like today. Glad you enjoy your walks too!
I share my age proudly. At 72 years, all the grief and grace I've experienced has textured my heart with compassion. Aging is filled with gifts. Although our culture does not seem to honor age in some regard, I'm experiencing a shift in our cultre, especially with women. We are shedding the the superficial trappings of cultural worth and embracing our true worth found in heart and soul.
My skin will never be as tight, or my booty as perky. But I have discovered and keep discovering a self that wants to help and uplift others on their journey; a self that can listen deeply to a younger woman and affirm her unique gifts to the world; a self that finds joy in curiosity, study and the unfolding of self-knowledge. My attitude about getting old has a lot of sweetness attached to it.
I'm old now, and life is a slow recede. Practicing surrender in meditation; contemplating death, saying thank you throughout the day is what I will continue to do when I am infirmed and reaching toward eternity.
Thank you so much for this perfect post, Nancy. My favorite over seventy Substacker is @susanwittigalbert (Susan Albert). And another share, not on Substack but a wonderful/wonder-filled author to help navigate the waters of growing old is Connie Zweig, author of The Inner Work of Age, from role to soul.
The path of growing old and embracing it fully has me to awe and a good sense of humor in this final chapter of the journey.
Your words are always so uplifting; they are here once again. Mine are, at times, too sarcastic and cynical.
Sometimes, I'm proud of my age and other times, I'm not. I'm getting there, though. It's a process for me. Turning 70 felt big. Maybe it's partly because my mother never saw 80. Now, I more fully realize the sifting away of time. And yet, I don't fret about it either. Interesting how you put it - a slow recede. Aging is filled with gifts, as is any stage of life, if we're open to seeing and receiving them.
I love your statement about listening deeply to younger women, affirming their unique gifts, and lifting them up. I love how women (not all, of course, but many) do that naturally, and for the most part, always have. Women are nurturers, after all. I always hope my words validate, encourage, and nurture other women, and men too, regardless of age. It's why I wrote my books. Maybe it's why all writers write. Well, one reason anyway.
Thank you for reading and also for sharing those fellow writers' names. I will definitely check out their work. And thank you for inspiring me to be a better writer - for inspiring me to be a better person. I appreciate you.
oh me, oh my. I've written about age a few times, including on here. So I just turned 70, too. It's great, isn't it?
I'm also 17. Like I mean, I have been, ever since I was, well, 17. And all the ages in between.
Sometimes, I think I was born old and am growing down every day. And that age isn't a number (it's a word, obviously) - it's not a thing we pass through like some station on an express train journey. No, it's a cumulative thing. I am all the ages I have ever been.
So apart from a double-take at the hospital letter from "The Department of Elderly Medicine" recently, I like being an elder.
(Also, for context and nothing else, I got told I have leukaemia in 1999. But that journey is a whole other thing. I still have it, technically, and one day maybe it will win. But not today.)
It is so good to get a male perspective. "I am all the ages I have ever been." That is a remarkable insight and so true. Love that! I had to laugh when I read about the Department of Elderly Medicine sending you a letter. I wonder how they came up with that department title. Thank you for sharing about your leukemia diagnosis, too. I hope you're doing well.
Thank you for adding to this discussion. I appreciate you. And happy 70th to you!
Great article! I must say your writing voice sounds about 45 in my head. Lol. I found you a few months into my cancer journey 9 years ago. I was 48 and desperately needed to find someone who had traveled the road before me who was realistic, but still alive. I hope you know that “cancer is not a gift and did not make me a better person” but your writing helped me be a better person when dealing with all the parts of cancer that truly suck!
Thank you for your kind words. It makes my day to hear that you discovered my writing nine years ago, and it's so humbling and gratifying to hear things I've written have made a difference in your life.
I hope you are doing well these days. Good luck dealing with all those parts of cancer that truly suck. Which is pretty much everything about it.
Another great thought provoking post, Nancy, and I have to say you are my favorite 70ish Substacker.
I will be 61 next month (March 10) and I do share my age publicly. When I was 59 I climbed a 15,000+ foot volcano in Mexico and I was the oldest of everyone in my group by at least 15 years. And one of the 20-somethings in the group said to me, “I want to be like you when I’m that old.” I thought it was cute, and I took it as a compliment.
I do notice that young people these days don’t seem to have the same reverence or respect for older people as I was taught. For example, walking down a narrow sidewalk, I always step into the street or onto the grass when I see an older person, to let them have the smoother sidewalk. Younger people don’t do that for me (even though I do it for them, too!)
I like having the experience, and hopefully wisdom and maturity. As a younger woman and a runner, I experienced the sexism, catcalls,and rudeness in public from men when it was more socially acceptable for men to do that. I hated it, and I found that once I had gray hair it became a lot less frequent. Maybe by then it was less acceptable, too. Every so often I get the thumbs up from younger people when I run by them. It reminds me that I’m aging, and I am also reminded that I must look like I’m not having as easy of a time running as I used to! But that’s better than what I got when I was younger.
In general, I feel like I’m still a 35 year old. Inside, I’m still the same person I’ve always been. With the way the world is headed, I am glad I don’t have 60 or more years ahead of me. But I feel terrible for the young people who are going to have to contend with this mess we’ve left them.
Thank you for your kind words about my article and for saying I'm your favorite 70ish Substacker! That is so nice.
At 60, you're still a youngster! You have always been such an inspiration - not only as an athlete but also for how you've always been an advocate for cancer patients, and others too. In addition to that, you've advocated for those working in healthcare. Your book “Navigating the C: A Nurse Charts the Course for Cancer Survivorship” is outstanding. And now, you're inspiring through your beautiful art! You've done a lot to be proud of.
I'm not sure if I still feel like 35 on the inside. Probably. I'm still the same person, for the most part too. Cancer didn't make be better! Like you, I feel terrible for young people who are going to have to contend with the mess the world is in, and will likely be in for quite some time.
Thank you for reading and sharing your insights. I always appreciate them. I appreciate YOU.
I turn 60 in June. I've never been uncomfortable sharing my age and I'm not now because I DO know that it's a privilege not everyone gets (and, yes, even with that I get annoyed by people who say that). But this year is one I'm struggling with because my mom died from colon cancer when she was 60. I keep reminding myself that I already did the cancer thing, I've had all the screenings, and my lifestyle is very different from my mom's. But still I'm struggling. My mother-in-law, a breast cancer survivor herself, turns 92 in April. She still lives independently in her big house, mows the lawn, clears the snow, gardens, makes quilts. My mom's older sister just turned 88 and lives in her own home. They've both learned how to use technology to keep in touch with their kids and grandkids. I have wonderful examples of aging well. But I feel like the drugs I've been taking to minimize the risk of recurrence have aged me and I wonder how that will affect my longevity. So I have mixed feelings about my age this year but I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other so that I can live to be old enough to become a burden to my children. :)
Well, I've never been comfortable sharing my age either, so you're not alone. I love how you mentioned you know getting older is a privilege, and yet, you also get annoyed when people say it. Both can be true!
It's natural and to be expected that you feel the way you do about turning 60 since that's the age your mom died from colon cancer. And I hear you about cancer accelerating your aging process. I wrote a post about that on my other site. I can share the link here, if you're interested. I know what you mean about those drugs, too. Boy, do I.
I found turning 60 to be a breeze, and all in all, my 60s treated me well. I wish the same for you. The hardest thing about it for me was that it was the decade my dad died.
My mother died at 79 from metastatic breast cancer, but my dad lived to 89. So, I am hoping I can at least make it to 80. That is no longer that far off! My mother-in-law is 97, which seems incredible - and unlikely for me, but who knows, right? It's amazing and wonderful that yours is still living so independently. And your aunt too. That's great.
Thank you for reading and for adding so much to this discussion. I appreciate you.
You are not old Nancy! It’s just a number. I’ve never shied away from telling my age… it’s not a reflection on me as a person. I’ll be 81 the spring. When I turned 70 it seemed like a milestone… but it’s been a fun ride… even as a widow, and will be for you too! Be active and fit, engaged socially and buy cute shoes! Own your age and just live your life like you’re still 40-50 something. We modify and slow a bit but keep on going! Ramona approaches 90 with her fiery spirit and Kathleen is in her 90s already… oh what fun she is! Much love to you and so many Birthday hugs and wishes, my friend! 🥰🫶😘💐💕
Well, I'm not sure I agree it's just a number, but okay, I like your take on it! Thank you for the advice and for adding to this wonderful conversation about aging. I appreciate you! And I need to add you to my list!
Oh sweet Gracie…this is the nicest comment ever! How kind of you to think of me; see me this way! Thank you so much! Love you bunches…here’s so many hugs! 🥰🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
I have always found age liberating. While at the same time pretty much ignoring it completely. For example I turned 60 this year and I would not have even known except that I happened to look at a medical report and noticed that I was 59. So I spent the whole month of December celebrating with a flashy Christmas hat and telling anyone who would listen how old I was.
I also grew up in an age positive culture in Central Africa so that has always helped. Last but far from least my childhood wasn't always the most fabulous although there were fabulous aspects of it for sure. Getting older always meant one year closer to freedom. What's fascinating is finances in older age have forced me to move back into some of those not so fabulous family environments and Im working to try to find the fabulousness within them. Or at least not lose the fabulousness I bring to them.
I didn't really feel old until I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. It wasn't the cancer itself but the treatment that has aged me.
Aging can be liberating, that's for sure. Any new 16 year-old driver will attest to that magic of turning 16 and obtaining a driver's license.
I'm sorry you're dealing with some financial issues. I hope you do find that fabulousness in the family members you're living with. Definitely don't lose your fabulousness.
Being diagnosed with cancer definitely takes a toll. Treatment, especially for metastatic disease, is brutal and accelerates the aging process dramatically. All treatment does that, but stage 4 treatment is a beast of its own. I hope you're doing alright these days.
Thank you for contributing to this discussion. I love it when readers share. All the insights are so valuable. Again, thank you for adding yours. I appreciate you.
I'm 72. I don't really think of my age very often. There are some things I can no longer do, but there are lots of things I can do. I'm still taking my Anastrozole for another 3 years. That is one thing I know I can do. I remind my friends to get their yearly mammograms. That's another thing that I consider my job. I have lived longer than my Mother and an Aunt. Another Aunt made it to 97. I try to eat well, dress well, and be a good person. There are many who just sit around and get old. That isn't me.
It sounds like you have figured out how to live you best life in a manner that suits you. That's about all any of us can aim for, right? Good luck sticking with Anastrozole for a few more years. You can do it! Thank for your inspiring words. I appreciate you.
Nancy -I loved this piece about ageing. It expresses the complexity of ageing in our culture: on the one hand it is a privilege to age but also older people aren’t always treated so well and encouraged to hide the signs of ageing. So it’s a hard identity to happily inhabit. I’m aware too of the negative self talk that i have about it all. I’m 56.
And so pleased to have somewhere and people to talk about this ageing stuff. Thanks again for your piece.
I'm so happy you loved this piece. Aging is a complex topic - or we make it that way anyway. I am not unhappy to be the age I am. I like it here. But until now, I haven't been stating my age, so can I really say I'm happy about being 70. I think I can. We can feel so many emotions all that same time.
It is lovely to have a place to talk about this stuff and other stuff, too. I'm delighted you are part of this community. Thank you for sharing some thoughts on aging. I appreciate you.
Love this post Nancy! I joke about "better older than deader"--it does ring true. As long as I believe that, I will keep plugging along. More birthdays please! I turn 60 in July, have lots of things I want to do, and an endless number of writing/book ideas :-) I also believe "Age is a frame of mind" and that once you get into these later decades, "acting your shoe size, not your age" from time to time can be the best age-defying practice out there. I tire of the anti-aging product parade, and have something like sympathy and sadness for the wealthy celebrities and others who seem unable to stop having tucks and trims and injections--to the point where they don't even look like themselves. I worry that elders don't get the respect they used to, and that is deserved, and that doesn't bode well for our society. So--I guess we need to keep writing and rocking the boat and being vulnerable and honest. Thanks Nancy. Onward!
Thank you for saying you love this post. And yes, better older than deader. That's a good one! You aren't yet 60, so you are still a youngster, my friend.
Age is a frame of mind, for sure. Like I said elsewhere, to a point. I tire of the anti-aging products parade, too. And it's also cruel when celebrities are chastised for looking bad (which usually means old), which happens fairly often on social media - that's another whole topic!
Elders don't get the respect they deserve, but I'm not sure anyone ever does. I've long said that children don't get it either - otherwise wouldn't we have done more to protect them from being shot while at school. And how often do we hear, they're just kids, they'll adapt, they'll be fine... Again, I'm veering off topic. Sorry.
We definitely need to keep writing, rocking the boat, being vulnerable and honest and speaking our minds - no matter how old we are! Thank you for chiming in. I appreciate your ongoing support. I appreciate YOU.
Thanks for the shoutout, Nancy, and happy birthday! I’m 74 and sometimes I feel it—like when I forget too may things and repeat myself too often—but mostly it’s a good and happy time.
You are most welcome. I love your Substack and how you always manage to insert humor into whatever you're writing about. Lord knows, we all need more of that.
I'm with you - being older is mostly a good and happy time. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate you.
Nancy, I've always been open online about my age and also much of my life. Age is a number as they say. Some days I certainly feel older than I am and I also feel grateful when people are surprised when I tell them how old I am. I hope you feel liberated by your choice to out your age! You're a dynamic woman and I appreciate you including me in your list of Substackers who claim their age. 😀
I think we all have days we feel older than we are and days we feel younger than we are, too. It was liberating to come out and state my age. It wasn't easy for me. Moving to Substack certainly helped me garner the nerve to do it. So, I'm grateful to you and all the others who've been such an inspiration to me. Thank you. I appreciate you.
Hi Nancy, thanks for including me in your list. I'm honored to be among them! But let me tell you about my reasons for mentioning my age when I really don't have to. I'm 87 years old. That's OLD! It's not that I'm proud of it. My only contribution, as I often say, is not dying. That's what keeps me here.
But I think it's important to remind younger folks that we older folks aren't necessarily feeble-minded or brain-dead, just because we're old. I write a lot about a lot of different things, and some of my readers aren't aware of my age. I want them to be aware. I want them to get comfortable with the idea that old people are still active, still with it, still able to contribute to a society that would like to pretend we're nothing more than a drain on their magnanimity and their coffers.
That's crazy talk, and I'm here as living proof.
I admire anyone who is old (a lovely word) and is still out there bouncing around, making an impact. I wish all of them would keep on announcing their age--wearing it as a badge to show how ridiculous it is to try and put us out to pasture when we still have so much to offer.
So keep on keeping on, Nancy. You've got this! So have I! So have we all!!
Hi Ramona,
All your points are excellent. No surprise there. I've been slow to state my age publicly but no more. It is important to not put anyone in any age group into a box. We are all individuals with unique strengths and weaknesses, too, of course. We can learn so much for one another if we keep our minds open. That, is the hard part. For some anyway.
Thank you for your eloquent comment, encouraging words, and for your great writing here on Substack. I appreciate you.
I am 73 years young and I keep a saying on my fridge that I can look at all the time. It says that growing old is a privilege denied to many. To me aging is a state of mind. I feel physically older because of the aromatase inhibitor that I'm on. But this too shall pass eventually as things continue to go well.
Hi Joyce,
Good for you for keeping that reminder on your fridge. Do you ever feel, as I do, that the phrase implies we shouldn't complain? Maybe it's just me reading that into it. Regardless, you know how I love a good rant be it about cancer, aging, aromatase inhibitors (or as I call them, the drugs we love to hate), or something else, so it's not like I plan to be quiet about getting old either - regarding the good and the not so good parts.
Age is a state of mind - to a point. I hope you're doing alright with your side effects from AI meds. I was very happy when I completed my 10 years. Actually, I stopped after 9.
Thank you for reading and commenting, too. I appreciate you.
Nancy, thank you for the shoutout in wonderful company. We've earned our age. Let's revel in it. I love your mug and want one for my own.
Hi Rona,
You are so welcome, and I agree about the wonderful company. We have earned our age, in more ways than one. Reveling in it still feels like a stretch for me. But I'm getting there!
Thank you for being such a great role model here on Substack and for supporting fellow writers. I have a special place in my heart for those who offer that kindness. Thank you for reading and taking time to comment, too. I appreciate you.
Oh, and I bought the mug for both my sisters when they turned 70 and had to get one for myself. Makes me chuckle.
I loved the suspense of waiting until near the end to hear how old you actually are!! (And I enjoyed what I read too)
You’re a baby. I’m 78, as of two weeks ago.
They missed my birthday at PT because I was sick (my daughter’s fault) so when I got to PT today they took my picture underneath a “Happy Late Birthday” sign. I’d post it here because I look cool, but I don’t know how to post pics in comments.
The only things that bother me about my age are (1) worrying about how much longer I’ve got to live (I’ve got no diagnosed fatalities, it’s just that 78 seems so…..old!! (2) Not having the easy mobility I had when I was younger—I never was athletic but I used to be…springy!! I can’t get used to bring creaky and stiff and having to constantly work against it getting worse. (3) Being the same age as Donald Trump.
I always tell my age. But I admit to missing being flirted with, and to being proud of my still-red hair. I hope it indicates more about the overall state of me than the number 78.
And thank you for including me in that great list. I’m honored.
Hi Susan,
Being called a baby made me laugh. Happy birthday to you, too, then! I'm sorry to hear you were sick.
I don't worry about how much longer I have to live. Not yet anyway. Even after the whole cancer shitstorm, I just don't. Like you, I do miss the easier mobility, although I'm lucky to still be pretty mobile and somewhat limber. I've never been athletic in any way whatsoever, but I do walk most days, which really seems to help me. The creakiness and stiffness is annoying, isn't it? Maybe not as much as being the same age as Trump! Just kidding.
Thank you for reading my article and saying you enjoyed it. I'll keep reading your articles and notes when I can. Thanks for subscribing, too. I appreciate you.
The creakiness and stiffness is uber annoying. I was a big runner/swimmmer in my 20's through 40's but had to give up running due to arthritis and gave up swimming b/c too cold! Wised up! I do walk almost every day and I enjoy that.
Hi again, Graciewilde,
Walking is the only way to go for this non-athlete. This time of year, I use my treadmill when the temps drop too low. Like today. Glad you enjoy your walks too!
I share my age proudly. At 72 years, all the grief and grace I've experienced has textured my heart with compassion. Aging is filled with gifts. Although our culture does not seem to honor age in some regard, I'm experiencing a shift in our cultre, especially with women. We are shedding the the superficial trappings of cultural worth and embracing our true worth found in heart and soul.
My skin will never be as tight, or my booty as perky. But I have discovered and keep discovering a self that wants to help and uplift others on their journey; a self that can listen deeply to a younger woman and affirm her unique gifts to the world; a self that finds joy in curiosity, study and the unfolding of self-knowledge. My attitude about getting old has a lot of sweetness attached to it.
I'm old now, and life is a slow recede. Practicing surrender in meditation; contemplating death, saying thank you throughout the day is what I will continue to do when I am infirmed and reaching toward eternity.
Thank you so much for this perfect post, Nancy. My favorite over seventy Substacker is @susanwittigalbert (Susan Albert). And another share, not on Substack but a wonderful/wonder-filled author to help navigate the waters of growing old is Connie Zweig, author of The Inner Work of Age, from role to soul.
The path of growing old and embracing it fully has me to awe and a good sense of humor in this final chapter of the journey.
Hi Stephanie,
Your words are always so uplifting; they are here once again. Mine are, at times, too sarcastic and cynical.
Sometimes, I'm proud of my age and other times, I'm not. I'm getting there, though. It's a process for me. Turning 70 felt big. Maybe it's partly because my mother never saw 80. Now, I more fully realize the sifting away of time. And yet, I don't fret about it either. Interesting how you put it - a slow recede. Aging is filled with gifts, as is any stage of life, if we're open to seeing and receiving them.
I love your statement about listening deeply to younger women, affirming their unique gifts, and lifting them up. I love how women (not all, of course, but many) do that naturally, and for the most part, always have. Women are nurturers, after all. I always hope my words validate, encourage, and nurture other women, and men too, regardless of age. It's why I wrote my books. Maybe it's why all writers write. Well, one reason anyway.
Thank you for reading and also for sharing those fellow writers' names. I will definitely check out their work. And thank you for inspiring me to be a better writer - for inspiring me to be a better person. I appreciate you.
oh me, oh my. I've written about age a few times, including on here. So I just turned 70, too. It's great, isn't it?
I'm also 17. Like I mean, I have been, ever since I was, well, 17. And all the ages in between.
Sometimes, I think I was born old and am growing down every day. And that age isn't a number (it's a word, obviously) - it's not a thing we pass through like some station on an express train journey. No, it's a cumulative thing. I am all the ages I have ever been.
So apart from a double-take at the hospital letter from "The Department of Elderly Medicine" recently, I like being an elder.
(Also, for context and nothing else, I got told I have leukaemia in 1999. But that journey is a whole other thing. I still have it, technically, and one day maybe it will win. But not today.)
Hi Matthew,
It is so good to get a male perspective. "I am all the ages I have ever been." That is a remarkable insight and so true. Love that! I had to laugh when I read about the Department of Elderly Medicine sending you a letter. I wonder how they came up with that department title. Thank you for sharing about your leukemia diagnosis, too. I hope you're doing well.
Thank you for adding to this discussion. I appreciate you. And happy 70th to you!
Great article! I must say your writing voice sounds about 45 in my head. Lol. I found you a few months into my cancer journey 9 years ago. I was 48 and desperately needed to find someone who had traveled the road before me who was realistic, but still alive. I hope you know that “cancer is not a gift and did not make me a better person” but your writing helped me be a better person when dealing with all the parts of cancer that truly suck!
Hi Stephanie,
Thank you for your kind words. It makes my day to hear that you discovered my writing nine years ago, and it's so humbling and gratifying to hear things I've written have made a difference in your life.
I hope you are doing well these days. Good luck dealing with all those parts of cancer that truly suck. Which is pretty much everything about it.
Thank you for being here. I appreciate you.
Another great thought provoking post, Nancy, and I have to say you are my favorite 70ish Substacker.
I will be 61 next month (March 10) and I do share my age publicly. When I was 59 I climbed a 15,000+ foot volcano in Mexico and I was the oldest of everyone in my group by at least 15 years. And one of the 20-somethings in the group said to me, “I want to be like you when I’m that old.” I thought it was cute, and I took it as a compliment.
I do notice that young people these days don’t seem to have the same reverence or respect for older people as I was taught. For example, walking down a narrow sidewalk, I always step into the street or onto the grass when I see an older person, to let them have the smoother sidewalk. Younger people don’t do that for me (even though I do it for them, too!)
I like having the experience, and hopefully wisdom and maturity. As a younger woman and a runner, I experienced the sexism, catcalls,and rudeness in public from men when it was more socially acceptable for men to do that. I hated it, and I found that once I had gray hair it became a lot less frequent. Maybe by then it was less acceptable, too. Every so often I get the thumbs up from younger people when I run by them. It reminds me that I’m aging, and I am also reminded that I must look like I’m not having as easy of a time running as I used to! But that’s better than what I got when I was younger.
In general, I feel like I’m still a 35 year old. Inside, I’m still the same person I’ve always been. With the way the world is headed, I am glad I don’t have 60 or more years ahead of me. But I feel terrible for the young people who are going to have to contend with this mess we’ve left them.
Hi Alene,
Thank you for your kind words about my article and for saying I'm your favorite 70ish Substacker! That is so nice.
At 60, you're still a youngster! You have always been such an inspiration - not only as an athlete but also for how you've always been an advocate for cancer patients, and others too. In addition to that, you've advocated for those working in healthcare. Your book “Navigating the C: A Nurse Charts the Course for Cancer Survivorship” is outstanding. And now, you're inspiring through your beautiful art! You've done a lot to be proud of.
I'm not sure if I still feel like 35 on the inside. Probably. I'm still the same person, for the most part too. Cancer didn't make be better! Like you, I feel terrible for young people who are going to have to contend with the mess the world is in, and will likely be in for quite some time.
Thank you for reading and sharing your insights. I always appreciate them. I appreciate YOU.
I turn 60 in June. I've never been uncomfortable sharing my age and I'm not now because I DO know that it's a privilege not everyone gets (and, yes, even with that I get annoyed by people who say that). But this year is one I'm struggling with because my mom died from colon cancer when she was 60. I keep reminding myself that I already did the cancer thing, I've had all the screenings, and my lifestyle is very different from my mom's. But still I'm struggling. My mother-in-law, a breast cancer survivor herself, turns 92 in April. She still lives independently in her big house, mows the lawn, clears the snow, gardens, makes quilts. My mom's older sister just turned 88 and lives in her own home. They've both learned how to use technology to keep in touch with their kids and grandkids. I have wonderful examples of aging well. But I feel like the drugs I've been taking to minimize the risk of recurrence have aged me and I wonder how that will affect my longevity. So I have mixed feelings about my age this year but I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other so that I can live to be old enough to become a burden to my children. :)
Hi Bonnie,
Well, I've never been comfortable sharing my age either, so you're not alone. I love how you mentioned you know getting older is a privilege, and yet, you also get annoyed when people say it. Both can be true!
It's natural and to be expected that you feel the way you do about turning 60 since that's the age your mom died from colon cancer. And I hear you about cancer accelerating your aging process. I wrote a post about that on my other site. I can share the link here, if you're interested. I know what you mean about those drugs, too. Boy, do I.
I found turning 60 to be a breeze, and all in all, my 60s treated me well. I wish the same for you. The hardest thing about it for me was that it was the decade my dad died.
My mother died at 79 from metastatic breast cancer, but my dad lived to 89. So, I am hoping I can at least make it to 80. That is no longer that far off! My mother-in-law is 97, which seems incredible - and unlikely for me, but who knows, right? It's amazing and wonderful that yours is still living so independently. And your aunt too. That's great.
Thank you for reading and for adding so much to this discussion. I appreciate you.
I want to be like your MIL and your aunt. I appreciate their role modeling!
Me, too! My mother-in-law went in for her check-up this past week and the doctor told her she is the most robust 91 year old she's ever met.
You are not old Nancy! It’s just a number. I’ve never shied away from telling my age… it’s not a reflection on me as a person. I’ll be 81 the spring. When I turned 70 it seemed like a milestone… but it’s been a fun ride… even as a widow, and will be for you too! Be active and fit, engaged socially and buy cute shoes! Own your age and just live your life like you’re still 40-50 something. We modify and slow a bit but keep on going! Ramona approaches 90 with her fiery spirit and Kathleen is in her 90s already… oh what fun she is! Much love to you and so many Birthday hugs and wishes, my friend! 🥰🫶😘💐💕
Hi Joan,
Well, I'm not sure I agree it's just a number, but okay, I like your take on it! Thank you for the advice and for adding to this wonderful conversation about aging. I appreciate you! And I need to add you to my list!
Hi Joan! YOU are my favorite over 70 Substacker! So vibrant and so real.
Oh sweet Gracie…this is the nicest comment ever! How kind of you to think of me; see me this way! Thank you so much! Love you bunches…here’s so many hugs! 🥰🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
Hi Nancy,
I have always found age liberating. While at the same time pretty much ignoring it completely. For example I turned 60 this year and I would not have even known except that I happened to look at a medical report and noticed that I was 59. So I spent the whole month of December celebrating with a flashy Christmas hat and telling anyone who would listen how old I was.
I also grew up in an age positive culture in Central Africa so that has always helped. Last but far from least my childhood wasn't always the most fabulous although there were fabulous aspects of it for sure. Getting older always meant one year closer to freedom. What's fascinating is finances in older age have forced me to move back into some of those not so fabulous family environments and Im working to try to find the fabulousness within them. Or at least not lose the fabulousness I bring to them.
I didn't really feel old until I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. It wasn't the cancer itself but the treatment that has aged me.
Hi Joyce,
Aging can be liberating, that's for sure. Any new 16 year-old driver will attest to that magic of turning 16 and obtaining a driver's license.
I'm sorry you're dealing with some financial issues. I hope you do find that fabulousness in the family members you're living with. Definitely don't lose your fabulousness.
Being diagnosed with cancer definitely takes a toll. Treatment, especially for metastatic disease, is brutal and accelerates the aging process dramatically. All treatment does that, but stage 4 treatment is a beast of its own. I hope you're doing alright these days.
Thank you for contributing to this discussion. I love it when readers share. All the insights are so valuable. Again, thank you for adding yours. I appreciate you.
I'm 72. I don't really think of my age very often. There are some things I can no longer do, but there are lots of things I can do. I'm still taking my Anastrozole for another 3 years. That is one thing I know I can do. I remind my friends to get their yearly mammograms. That's another thing that I consider my job. I have lived longer than my Mother and an Aunt. Another Aunt made it to 97. I try to eat well, dress well, and be a good person. There are many who just sit around and get old. That isn't me.
Hi Adrienne,
It sounds like you have figured out how to live you best life in a manner that suits you. That's about all any of us can aim for, right? Good luck sticking with Anastrozole for a few more years. You can do it! Thank for your inspiring words. I appreciate you.
Nancy -I loved this piece about ageing. It expresses the complexity of ageing in our culture: on the one hand it is a privilege to age but also older people aren’t always treated so well and encouraged to hide the signs of ageing. So it’s a hard identity to happily inhabit. I’m aware too of the negative self talk that i have about it all. I’m 56.
And so pleased to have somewhere and people to talk about this ageing stuff. Thanks again for your piece.
Nancy - thank you. Your post made my morning, it was the first thing i read today! Lovely to connect. Emma 😊
What a nice thing to say. Thank you so much, and I agree, it's lovely to connect.
Hi Emma KG,
I'm so happy you loved this piece. Aging is a complex topic - or we make it that way anyway. I am not unhappy to be the age I am. I like it here. But until now, I haven't been stating my age, so can I really say I'm happy about being 70. I think I can. We can feel so many emotions all that same time.
It is lovely to have a place to talk about this stuff and other stuff, too. I'm delighted you are part of this community. Thank you for sharing some thoughts on aging. I appreciate you.
Love this post Nancy! I joke about "better older than deader"--it does ring true. As long as I believe that, I will keep plugging along. More birthdays please! I turn 60 in July, have lots of things I want to do, and an endless number of writing/book ideas :-) I also believe "Age is a frame of mind" and that once you get into these later decades, "acting your shoe size, not your age" from time to time can be the best age-defying practice out there. I tire of the anti-aging product parade, and have something like sympathy and sadness for the wealthy celebrities and others who seem unable to stop having tucks and trims and injections--to the point where they don't even look like themselves. I worry that elders don't get the respect they used to, and that is deserved, and that doesn't bode well for our society. So--I guess we need to keep writing and rocking the boat and being vulnerable and honest. Thanks Nancy. Onward!
Hi Lisa,
Thank you for saying you love this post. And yes, better older than deader. That's a good one! You aren't yet 60, so you are still a youngster, my friend.
Age is a frame of mind, for sure. Like I said elsewhere, to a point. I tire of the anti-aging products parade, too. And it's also cruel when celebrities are chastised for looking bad (which usually means old), which happens fairly often on social media - that's another whole topic!
Elders don't get the respect they deserve, but I'm not sure anyone ever does. I've long said that children don't get it either - otherwise wouldn't we have done more to protect them from being shot while at school. And how often do we hear, they're just kids, they'll adapt, they'll be fine... Again, I'm veering off topic. Sorry.
We definitely need to keep writing, rocking the boat, being vulnerable and honest and speaking our minds - no matter how old we are! Thank you for chiming in. I appreciate your ongoing support. I appreciate YOU.
Thanks for the shoutout, Nancy, and happy birthday! I’m 74 and sometimes I feel it—like when I forget too may things and repeat myself too often—but mostly it’s a good and happy time.
Hi Liz,
You are most welcome. I love your Substack and how you always manage to insert humor into whatever you're writing about. Lord knows, we all need more of that.
I'm with you - being older is mostly a good and happy time. Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate you.
Nancy, I've always been open online about my age and also much of my life. Age is a number as they say. Some days I certainly feel older than I am and I also feel grateful when people are surprised when I tell them how old I am. I hope you feel liberated by your choice to out your age! You're a dynamic woman and I appreciate you including me in your list of Substackers who claim their age. 😀
Hi Pamela,
I think we all have days we feel older than we are and days we feel younger than we are, too. It was liberating to come out and state my age. It wasn't easy for me. Moving to Substack certainly helped me garner the nerve to do it. So, I'm grateful to you and all the others who've been such an inspiration to me. Thank you. I appreciate you.
Nancy, I am glad you found the liberation. I totally get that it wasn’t easy. I applaud and appreciate you!